mark cerqueira well-rounded nerd

The Mysterious Research Department

Today, I got a cold call from a recruiter: Jeff. I gave him my usual response to recruiters, “Sorry. I’m happy at Smule. If things change, I’ll reach out to you.” Yet, Jeff deserved a little more than this. After all, he somehow dug up my phone number. My interest piqued, I naturally asked Jeff how he got my number. Jeff proudly said, “Our Research Department. For candidates we are highly interested in, Our Research Department gets their info.” Well, Jeff and other people who like to cold call innocent nerds, here’s a tip for you. In today’s world, where email and text messages are the norms for communication, I only expect calls from family and friends. If you’re a recruiter and you think calling me is going to woo me, you might as well greet me with a big “SCREW YOU” because if you’re going to piss me off, you might as well do it with a bang. If you want to grab my attention, send an email with something more than a generic copy-and-pasted message. I’m all over the Internet, so get your Research Department to figure out what I like, and use that to grab my attention. I didn’t tell Jeff to put me on his do not call list; I’m hoping this post gets the message across. Have a good day, Jeff!