Driving in New Jersey

I was — as one of my friends put it — "born, raised, and pretentiously educated in New Jersey" before moving to California. It's been four years since I left the Garden State, but I come back pretty often to visit family. One of the best parts of visiting is being constantly reminded how good the typical New Jersey driver is, and how my own driving skills have degraded while being away.

Here are some things I don’t do quite as well anymore:

• Tailgating. Together, we’re all Jersey Strong.
• Make turns without a turn signal.
• Cutting people off Merging almost on top of someone next to me.
• Squeezing in between two cars; one of which is tailgating the other.
• Drive more aggressively assertively.
• Change lanes without a turn signal.
• See someone ahead trying to merge into my lane. Speed up quickly to block them from doing so.
• Show off how long my middle finger is to fellow travelers.
• Ensure my car horn works by using it every minute.
• Responding to the honker behind me, by showing them how well my brakes work.

Nothing says “Welcome Home!” like driving in New Jersey.